Weekend Preview: Fantasy Hockey

Dearest CUHC, 

With the excitement of fantasy hock, this weekend preview is a compilation of the best parts so far. If you don’t want to read here is a few quick facts: 

-Pritch is sh*t at hockey (Fantasy)

-Amy is a toxic club captain 

-Radar is a necessity 

Here we go.

Best Team Names

“Doing it Froggy-Style” - Froggy

Demonstration after next goal? @froggy

“Ar(thur) we getting (van) Loosen tonight?” - NJ 

No, it’s a Friday we are not 🤥🤥

“Asleep at the Beale” - Gigi 

Great play on words AND a history of falling asleep in places they shouldn’t? What a team name! 

Best(?) Player Selections  

Will Rowlands’ second (first?) team

Rowlands’ aptly named “Like a moth to a flame” contains an entire team of CUWHC freshers captained by Cbatts. This is funny because Rowlands is projecting. 

James Cake

This man has managed to rack up a 48 point deduction in his first week for crimes against Kyrill.

Pete Jansen

Triple captaining on the most predictable DOD ever was considerably poor form. -5 times 3 is famously -15. 

Will Rowlands (the other team)

Rowlands is currently sat on -1 overall. This is a vast improvement from this time last year where he was sat on around -40. Well done Rowlands! 

Fantasy Experts’ tips

Emily May (Fantasy Expert and former winner) has put forward her top tips for how to win Fantasy. Emily’s talk of “differentials” and “GW3 Wildcard” threw me off and I can’t actually remember her top tips. So here is her team for you to copy! 

Lil Bingham (GK) 

Emily May (C) 

Freddie Arbuthnott 

Femi Owolade-Coombes

Alicia McDowell

Beitiris Reid 

Lottie Gill

Ben Lewis

Jenna Langley 

Sophie Levy 

Ollie Sharp

We also interviewed current leading player Clords to see what caused her rise to the top. Clords claims that putting herself and I in the team was the reason for her success. 

Fantasy Hockey Statistics

Now for the raw stats (based on one game). You simply can’t argue with these! 

Most selected player from each team:

Mblues - Radar 

Wblues - Lottie

Wandies - MJ

Nomads - Emily May

Squandies - Blewis 

Beds - Alicia 

Blundies - Luke Bono 

Rovers - Bei 

Most individual points in each team: 

Mblues - Radar 

Wblues - Tabby

Wandies - Luke P

Nomads - Abi Halliday

Squandies - Blewis

Beds - N/A

Blundies - Adam Harris 

Rovers - N/A

Some fun and interesting stats but what do the top 5 fantasy players think? Please look below to now to see their teams. As you can see, players in bold are in every team. Radar is undoubtedly the Haaland of hockey fantasy. The players in colours represent those who consistently appear in teams throughout the top 15. Take notes! 

The Rovers’ Conundrum 

According to fantasy hockey, the Rovers is a team that is comprised of entirely midfielders. While, in the past, the Rovers have been good enough to field a team of entirely midfielders and still win, they have been promoted and might want to look at new positions. This might actually be a worry yet it’s likely it is just Amy being a #toxicclubcaptain that doesn’t know the positions of her players. 

Anyways, shadmin highlighting aside here’s the games! 

28th September 

Beds vs COP 3s (A) - 10:00

Squandies vs Cambridge South 4s (H) - 10:30

Wanderers vs Long Sutton 1s (H) - 12:00

Nomads vs Bury St Edmunds 2s (A) - 13:30

Wblues vs Stourport 1s (A) - 14:00 

Mblues vs St Ives 1s (A) - 14:00

See you there but not too loud please, see next email. 

General CUHC love and happy PMBing, 

Blewis and AG